Thursday, February 5, 2009

My Re-Conversion Story

Carolina Girl's Story

I grew up in the church for the most part. My parents were baptized when I was 2, we were sealed when I was 4. I always dreamed of the day that I would be sealed to my return missionary for all time and eternity and we would start our wonderful family and have a happy little Mormon life. But fairy-tales don't always go from beginning to end so smoothly.

When I was 12, much to the surprise of everyone in our ward, myself included, my parents divorced. I remember questioning where I stood in the eternities now, if my family was broken did that mean that if I died I wouldn't be part of a "forever family?" It troubled me so much but what troubled me more was to see my father, the wonderful priesthood leader of our home, turn away from the gospel. I lived with him as did my sisters, and he forbid us to go back to our ward. I was heartbroken, but I knew the church was true. I asked him one day "How do you go from believing that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God one day and the next day we aren't allowed to even talk about the gospel?!" He simply said, "I just don't believe it anymore."

Fast forward 5 years to the day I left my fathers home, because of his influence I didn't have a desire for the gospel, I knew it was true deep down, but I put on a front, it was easier to live by the world's standards. I lived with my grandparents and attend church with them at their Baptist church regularly and enjoyed it. But I knew there was more, I sat there looking at all those people thinking, how can they not have this burning desire to fill the void?

I was engaged just before my 19th birthday to a wonderful man. We were married in December of 2005. We attended several different churches, looking for a place to belong, a place that felt right, none of them met our spiritual needs. 11 months after we were married we found out I was pregnant, then we discovered it was twins. I was so scared, the doctors said there was a problem, it appeared I had only one placenta, the initial ultrasound also looked like there was only one sac, meaning I might not make it past 20 weeks. It was heart broken and I cried out to God. I prayed as I drove home "Heavenly Father I will do whatever it takes, I will raise these children the way You want me to, just please let them be healthy." Those were my exact words and I meant them, but I didn't know what it meant, but I meant them.

The NEXT DAY I was at home with my husband when the doorbell rang. I opened it and there stood to young men in white shirts and ties and asked if I was Sister Christa Berrier (my maiden name). I said "I'm Christa Rushing I used to be Christa Berrier." Now I know that the story is amazing as it is, but it gets better. The missionaries here are given a certain number of miles that they are allowed to drive their car because our ward boundaries are so large here (I live 25 minutes away from our building). These two elders Elder Fletcher and Elder Gillette had been praying for someone to teach the gospel to and the spirit told them to come to me, they had EXACTLY the number of miles left to get to my house and back to their apartment, I lived 20 miles outside of town.

My husband initially was leery as most people in the south are, but he was baptized in just a few short weeks, and we are working towards being sealed to our beautiful twin daughters, who were born 8 weeks early (not due to complications) Cordelia Beau weighing 2lbs 8oz and Caroline Bleu 2lbs 1oz. They were the healthiest babies in the NICU, they amazed everyone when they never needed oxygen, and came home in a short 41 days, before my actual due date. It turns out I had two sacs; fused together, and two placentas; fused together, rare but so are fraternal twin girls without fertility treatments. We have had our scares with doctors, but we have never doubted the promise that I made and was given in return. I will raise them in His way, because He kept His word.

I hope that it helps someone to see the truth, every person deserves the chance to have these opportunities, to know this joy, to have a real lasting relationship with our Father in Heaven, to know His love and to be together forever.